So chapter 1 of our life in a triad has come to an inevitable end. There were exhilarating moments, passionate sex, great food, fabulous museums and exposure to thoughts and ideas. But distance and closeness both have an edge that can be equally as sharp and ultimately can create challenges. More powerfully are the disparate goals and philosophies that make you incompatible. Once exposed, they produce irreparable fissures that time simply can’t close. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or care for others in the relationship but it does mean it’s time to move on. We will always have fond memories and will hold onto them forever. We will never look at the city the same, never go by the places we frequented together without saying, “do you remember when…”
We learned the value of honesty, the damage of untruths, and the richness of the passion of ideas. We also felt the powerful lessons of managing complex relationships, more complex than the average person endures. We took notes, discussed privately sometimes, with all three at other times, what we liked and disliked in the triad relationship. We don’t look at the experience as bad but rather well within the parameters of the cliche, “better to have loved…”. Oddly enough, as I typed “loved” it came out “lived” which is what we truly did the past six months.
We also came to realize that people don’t have baggage but rather stories and history. They’re not damaged only different. You see each person for what they are and you learn to accept the things that make them who they are. It’s truly what made the past six months so much fun and so memorable.
This relationship was intensely sexual but equally intensely intellectual. It was genuine friendship and exploration. We found our way, briefly, as a triad and it was fulfilling and wonderful.