To date, our triad relationships have almost always invoked the three of us except for a couple times where we agreed my husband would see the female apart from our normal visit. At no time did I spend time alone with the female. 

That changed. 

My husband was out of town on business and our newest girl and I decided to build his anticipation and excitement for getting home. She came over to the house late one morning after we had a workout together and seduced me into seducing her. 

I love using a strap on and I used my favorite black one. The harness fits in such a way that wearing it with a dildo provides me immense stimulation. But prior to penetrating her, I pushed her onto the bed, directed her to spread her legs and I went down on her, putting two fingers in her, slamming her pussy hard and simultaneously licking her clit. I brought her to climax multiple times, felt my aggression build, climbing on her and forcing my cock inside of her. As I built on my thrusts she lifted her back off the bed and and I pounded her over and over. Slamming her repeatedly, the headboard of my bed banged into the wall and her screams were highly audible and will probably once again draw the wrath of our neighbors much like the last time. 

Our session was somewhat abbreviated but nonetheless erotic and sensual. We made a short video and sent it to our man, getting the response we hoped for.  After a week on the road, he was certainly ready for a night with us. 

And as quickly as one door closes, another door opens. 

Triads are interesting and challenging and we’ve had more failures than successes yet we continue searching and have come to realize that it’s not the third person that’s the “unicorn”; it’s actually us.

We closed a chapter over the past week and started a new, optimistic relationship that may offer the promises we hoped for in all the other relationships. We’ve always set our requirements and desires for a third person high and the latest has certainly not disappointed. 

We’ve started down a new path and one we look forward to with great optimism. Sexually there’s a wonderful dynamic and there is wonderful physical chemistry.  But there’s an intellectual component that we could have only hoped for and we certainly feel as though we’ve hit the triad lottery. 

Interestingly enough, we don’t plan on changing our approach or desires. If she works out, we’ll be thrilled. If not, it will be another lesson learned. 

Chapter 2

So chapter 1 of our life in a triad has come to an inevitable end. There were exhilarating moments, passionate sex, great food, fabulous museums and exposure to thoughts and ideas. But distance and closeness both have an edge that can be equally as sharp and ultimately can create challenges. More powerfully are the disparate goals and philosophies that make you incompatible. Once exposed, they produce irreparable fissures that time simply can’t close. It doesn’t mean you don’t love or care for others in the relationship but it does mean it’s time to move on. We will always have fond memories and will hold onto them forever. We will never look at the city the same, never go by the places we frequented together without saying, “do you remember when…”

We learned the value of honesty, the damage of untruths, and the richness of the passion of ideas. We also felt the powerful lessons of managing complex relationships, more complex than the average person endures. We took notes, discussed privately sometimes, with all three at other times, what we liked and disliked in the triad relationship. We don’t look at the experience as bad but rather well within the parameters of the cliche, “better to have loved…”.  Oddly enough, as I typed “loved” it came out “lived” which is what we truly did the past six months. 
We also came to realize that people don’t have baggage but rather stories and history. They’re not damaged only different. You see each person for what they are and you learn to accept the things that make them who they are. It’s truly what made the past six months so much fun and so memorable. 

This relationship was intensely sexual but equally intensely intellectual. It was genuine friendship and exploration. We found our way, briefly, as a triad and it was fulfilling and wonderful. 

Over the past several months I encountered submissives who believe that the dominant/submissive role is a one-way street, that is, I am to provide a service to them but they do not provide anything in return. This could not be further from the truth or my expectations.

Yes, I understand that you pay for a session or two, however, what you pay for is the privilege of serving me. So in essence, what you are doing, is providing me with pleasure that is more important than your own.

I have several submissive’s who make the claim that their sole desire in our relationship is to make my life as carefree and luxurious as possible, however, when pressed to do so, they take it as a personal affront and usually back off or shy away. When confronted about their stated desires versus their actions, they provide a myriad of excuses why they can’t, but not a single reason why they can.   I would rather have a submissive be honest and say that he is not in a position to make my life as comfortable as I would like. I can handle that. But to make the continual promises with no follow through means that the submissive is only doing this for his pleasure and not for mine.

The value and beauty of submission in this relationship is that the submissive puts me first and derives his pleasure from that dynamic. If he chooses not to do that, then he is not truly a submissive but merely someone who wishes to have an hour or two for his pleasure, with no regard for mine.  In that case, is he truly a submissive? I do not think so.

Submissive’s continually come to me with ulterior motive’s and no desire to share what those motives are. I would much rather have one say, “I seek humiliation purely for my own pleasure” than to say, “I will do anything to please you and make your life better” and not do so.

I will admit there’s a fine line between the dynamic of a paying submissive and a paying submissive who wishes to indulge my pleasure.  But as I continue to develop and evolve as a dominatrix, I find that the only submissives I’m truly interested in are those who have a genuine interest in my pleasure first.

Orgasms. Times Three. 

I’m writing a very brief update to our blog. 

We’re getting custom made vampire fangs made for a party the end of this month. But last night was the coup de grace of sexual pleasure. 

After a wonderful evening at Radio City, we did dinner then back to her place for an evening of sex. As she rode his cock from on top, I straddled his mouth, taking every bit of sexual pleasure I could. As I leaned back into her, she cupped my breasts and kissed my neck. I then heard a deep, guttural growl as he began to explode inside her, causing her to reach orgasm and then causing me to reach climax 

I’ll write more later…

“Why do you like the feeling of ownership” I asked my girlfriend.  Her response was spot on.

“That’s a great question.  For me, it’s just relief.  I feel like I’m forced into positions of responsibility all day long, so it’s this great relief to have someone else in control.  Someone whom I trust to be as intelligent as myself (which isn’t often).  My exporation into this is feminist in itself though, the fact I did this independently.  Also, I think you can philosophically argue that the most powerful person in any dynamic is the sub.  The sub consents and can stop things at any time.  The dominant is beholden to the sub in that sense.”

As much as the 50 Shades of Grey series cheapens the dominant/submissive dynamic, one of the central themes of the series was that the submissive actually holds the control and power in this dynamic.

“I think that’s what is interesting about the sub/Dom relationship”, she said.  “The complexity, nuances and yes, 50 Shades.  It’s a mirror of every other relationship, except it’s so literal so it’s easier to analyze.”

I think this summarizes so succinctly and beautifully the relationship between dominant and submissive.  It distills the thoughts of so many who have more than just a passing curiosity in this lifestyle.

I am looking forward to our next weekend with “N”.  While it will be a shorter weekend than we had in the past, I nevertheless find myself day dreaming about her arrival.  I know that Friday night will be nothing but hours of sex.   I know we’ll be bad girls.  I’ll do things that I don’t do on a daily basis but that I love doing when I’m with her.  I know we’ll strive to please one man and I know that he will satisfy us sexually for hours.  That’s the way this relationship works.

I look forward to spending a Saturday wandering through art galleries, spending a late morning at brunch in a hip, cool spot in DC.  I want to be seen with her and to dress in a way that complements her and makes him happy.  I will experience the coolness of fall, holding her hand in public, having wonderful conversation and making people wonder what our dynamic is.

I crave going down on her and her on me.  I want to have him pleasure me while he pleasures her.  Yes, this is possible.  He lays on his back while one of us mounts him while the other straddles his face.  It’s like conducting a band and he’s magnificent at it.  We will face each other and kiss as he pleases us.  It does not make him subservient or submissive to us but a true master who loves the interaction and pleasure that we derive.  We will collapse on him after orgasm and will lay on his chest, me on his right, “N” on his left.  I want to sleep with them and feel his touch in the middle of the night and know that she hungers for his arousal while he takes me.  I want to hear him softly take her, hear the whispers between them as he mounts her and the feel the gentle rhythm of the bed moving as he is intentional and methodical about his entry into her.

We will wake up and long for each other, be melancholy about the impending end of the weekend but excited that the next time with her is only a few days away.  We have the following weekend already planned, a concert at Radio City, and afternoon of leisurely sex, Netflix watching, wandering the lower east side and then a Saturday night of anything that we want.  The wonderful thing about “N” is that she always has something to do that allows us to display our relationship.

I ramble from one thought to another because it’s indicative of our relationship.  We’re spontaneous, easy going, passionate, inquisitive and curious.  We want the relationship to work on it’s own terms.  Do we want to have sex, go shopping, have dinner, watch a documentary? We traverse many things during our times together, metaphorically, sexually and socially.  We do not want our time to end but we know it does, only to restart the clock towards our next time together.  I love the romantic feeling of a late afternoon drive to NYC to see her, the sun starting to set, the shadows getting longer into evening, and knowing that her laughter and smile will greet us when we arrive.  I smile at the thought of her on the train to DC, picking her up and embracing, ordering a pizza, sitting in the living room, watching a home renovation show and telling each other about our week.  This is how the relationship is.  There’s no defining it because it moves, morphs, evolves in the fashion we allow.

I want her.  I want him.  I want them both, together.  I want to know that while he’s in me she lays next to us, watching and wanting, bad, what I am experiencing.  I’m not sure if I’m the one directing this for our happiness or merely pushing the throttle forward on a train that follows a track to a destination.  Maybe we’re all just passengers on this or we all take turns driving this to achieve our congruent goals and desires.  I’m not sure we will ever know or discover but this is a continual discovery process.

Only days away from being with her…

To be continued…