It’s been too long since I’ve put something in writing about my personal relationships and I think I may wait a little while before I do so. I’d like to determine the trajectory of some of my relationships before I finally put their resolution in writing.

Professionally, however, my clientele continues to grow and that expansion brings with it a wonderful new set of personalities and stories. My latest client is “H”, an older and incredibly articulate submissive who suffers from erectile dysfunction. He paid for a 30 minute video session but I gave more time because he was so inquisitive and interesting. I love when a submissive takes a genuine interest in me because I always have a genuine interest in them. “H” was curious about my orgasms, about what pleased me, about what I felt when having sex. He reminded me of a doctor with a fabulous bedside manner who would take the time to ask about your symptoms in order to better diagnose the problem. “H” and I talked for 45 minutes and yes, he wanted to get off so there absolutely was an ulterior motive, but his interest was genuine and the admiration of his Goddess quite real. 

I got to the end of the session, left him with a little extra something to imagine and fantasize over and went on my way. I do so hope to see him again!!

The Triad Continued…

As we navigate our way through this relationship, I’m grasping better the roles that each of us play in this dynamic.  Our foreplay doesn’t always happen in the bedroom.  It’s as much an intellectual pursuit as it is sexual.  I’m also learning  I’m the facilitator in many regards.  I bring a clarity to the differences in this relationship and I manage to steer all of us in directions that we may not realize we need to go.  It’s not one of manipulation but of seeing things from an objective viewpoint and helping all of us comprehend the complexity and beauty of a triad relationship.  Maybe there’s something that pushes a button of someone else or a misunderstanding of intent or desire.  In some ways, I’m the glue that holds the triad together, at other times, the “Swiss army knife”, finding that correct tool to make things work or to fix a minor problem before it becomes a large one.  We all possess something in this though.  For “N”, it’s an intellectual insight into a life that we have not been involved in many years.  For “E”, it’s managing the expectations; desires, sexual, physical, intellectual and emotional.  We all have a place in this and have learned that frequent communication, especially after an intense night of sexual contact or possibly a mild tiff, is the absolute key to making this work.  Our communication may be a bit methodical, but it’s consistent and deep.  Our contact is consistent.  Either we’ll show up on a Friday and leave on a Monday or she’ll show Friday evening and leave Sunday afternoon.  Regardless, each morning, we’ve built a somewhat consistent routine of breakfast and an “after action report”, talking about what we did the night before, what we loved, what turned us on, our plans for the day, the next evening or whatever may work it’s way into our relationship.  We continue to find our discussion afterwards as intense as the sexual component the night before.  And more often than not, that serves as the foreplay for the next afternoon and evening.

Sex is a major part of this triad.  It’s not the only thing but it’s the component that binds us in so many ways.  We share a man and in turn, he does his best to sexually pleasure us.  Maybe individually, maybe together. it may seem hedonistic and in many regards, it certainly can be.  But there’s an element of intellectual sexuality, where the mind plays a starring role and we find ourselves motivated by the curiosity, the passion, the security and the comfort as much as the orgasm.

We’re now settling into our roles but also realize that there’s an evolution of those roles and at times, one person may intentionally stray into another person’s role because they have unique experiences or insight that helps the other two.  Regardless, the joy of this triad continues to manifest itself each day, even when we’re apart.  We have a longing for her and she for us and we realize that the time in between being together does much to heighten the passion and desire.  It also makes us far more appreciative of the time spent outside the bedroom, in a museum or perusing galleries or going to a party or fine restaurant.  This is all part of the relationship and triad, it’s what makes it exciting and so worthwhile.

Missing Our Partner

I write extensively about our relationship and the details of our sexuality. 

This post is about missing her. 

We miss her. Immensely. We’ve connected. We’re happy.  We crave her company and the intellectual stimulation that comes with it. We find our passion grows deeper with each day. She is away for the next week and for the first time in our triad we are all scattered across the United States. It’s makes the anticipation for our next time together even more unbearable but simultaneously more exciting. We communicate as a triad through texts during the day but also have our individual communication with one another. It makes the passing of time between our long weekends bearable but less than enjoyable. How can two women have serious feelings for one man and yet not feel the jealousy that most people would feel? This is what makes this so erotic and stimulating. Part of it are the looks we receive at parties and dinner and brunch. But so much of this is about the continual transition from sexual partners to lovers to friends. We do count the days between our time with her and know she does the same. Sometimes our texts are raunchy and well beyond suggestive. Other times they’re deep and pensive and insightful. Regardless, we ache between our days with N. 

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So often we’ll get responses to advertisements or our FetLife (www.fetlife.com) profile that wonder if what is depicted is really us.

Unequivocally, yes.

We update our pictures, video and blog so often that it should give everyone a high level of confidence that we are who we say we are and that we do what we say we do.

IMG_2066We do keep our identity hidden online, we do have lives apart from our fetishes.  But part of the joy of this lifestyle is telling everyone what we do,IMG_2044 letting them know that we’re real people that have the same desires, goals and challenges in life and that sexuality is a wonderful thing, especially between a committed, married couple.  Frankly, we believe that we’re the best therapy for the couple that needs help because our lifestyle unleashes the passions and desires, both physical and emotional, that keep relationships strong.

We’re also asked, how often do you have vanilla sex versus fetish or bdsm sex.  Much depends on what’s going on in our lives but if we’re shooting video, we’ll have non-vanilla sex several times a week but even our vanilla sex tends to lean towards fetish sex.  IMG_2356We’ll wear leather to bed, sleep in it, hold each other

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down, wrestle, talk dirty and do many other things that most people would deem as D/s and not vanilla.  Regardless, we love having sex and as a couple in our 50s, that’s a rarity.

0193200-R1-E027Our desire is to continue this lifestyle until we’re physically unable to do so any more.  Staying in shape, exercising, and being open 0181700_0181700-R1-E025minded about sexuality, whether you’re 25, 50 or 75 years old is the key.  Being unafraid to indulge in somewhat hedonistic pursuits with one another and unashamed of sex regardless of age makes this a journey so worth having.

We will continue to post true depictions of our sexual interaction, stories about encounters with others in this lifestyle and events in general about

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our lives.  We hope that you’ll always find this interesting and we would love to know what people want to know about us.

Over the years, we’ve seen numerous clients who vary in experience, desire and ability. Some correspondence this morning with a Craigslist respondent made us want to write a bit about these people. 

What’s fascinating is that the vast majority of clients do not fit any stereotypical mold. They’re businessmen, lawyers, contractors, mechanics and sometimes students.  The most intriguing are the ones who possess fetishes that are so far removed from their personas that you would never suspect their desires. 

We’ll highlight one. 

He is a business owner, younger than the average submissive, loves very physical play, travels extensively, loves cross dressing and has a intellect that’s sharper than anyone’s.  What’s even more intriguing is his “split personality” when playing during a session. He has two distinct characters that he divulges depending on how we are playing with him. One is sweet and submissive, the other saucy and nasty. Both are loads of fun but the nasty girl is the one that brings out the aggressive play in us. 

Our enjoyment comes from knowing and understanding each of the submissives desires, fantasies and fetishes. Bringing out these aspects, sometimes unknown to the submissive is what’s most enjoyable about this lifestyle. 

-The MindFucks

An  Interesting Look at Someone’s Leather Fetish

We are familiar with the show Friday Night Lights but not the author, Buzz Bissinger.  In researching more about leather fetishes, we came upon this article.  We’re still not sure what to make of it.  Is it a snarky commentary on Buzz’s fetish or a true insight into what he’s evolved into.

The 20 Most Mortifying Parts of Buzz Bissinger’s Insane Leather Fetish Essay

We’d love to hear other people’s comments on this article.  It does sound as though Buzz may have gone a bit overboard with his fetish but when you’ve got the money to afford it and you aren’t jeopardizing your responsibilities in life, then it certainly seems harmless.  To be honest, we’d love to have $500,000 to spend on leather because I guarantee there would be a lot of Jitrois, Gucci, Louboutin and others being purchased.

Read the article and tell us what you think.