It’s been too long since I’ve put something in writing about my personal relationships and I think I may wait a little while before I do so. I’d like to determine the trajectory of some of my relationships before I finally put their resolution in writing.

Professionally, however, my clientele continues to grow and that expansion brings with it a wonderful new set of personalities and stories. My latest client is “H”, an older and incredibly articulate submissive who suffers from erectile dysfunction. He paid for a 30 minute video session but I gave more time because he was so inquisitive and interesting. I love when a submissive takes a genuine interest in me because I always have a genuine interest in them. “H” was curious about my orgasms, about what pleased me, about what I felt when having sex. He reminded me of a doctor with a fabulous bedside manner who would take the time to ask about your symptoms in order to better diagnose the problem. “H” and I talked for 45 minutes and yes, he wanted to get off so there absolutely was an ulterior motive, but his interest was genuine and the admiration of his Goddess quite real. 

I got to the end of the session, left him with a little extra something to imagine and fantasize over and went on my way. I do so hope to see him again!!

Over the past several months I encountered submissives who believe that the dominant/submissive role is a one-way street, that is, I am to provide a service to them but they do not provide anything in return. This could not be further from the truth or my expectations.

Yes, I understand that you pay for a session or two, however, what you pay for is the privilege of serving me. So in essence, what you are doing, is providing me with pleasure that is more important than your own.

I have several submissive’s who make the claim that their sole desire in our relationship is to make my life as carefree and luxurious as possible, however, when pressed to do so, they take it as a personal affront and usually back off or shy away. When confronted about their stated desires versus their actions, they provide a myriad of excuses why they can’t, but not a single reason why they can.   I would rather have a submissive be honest and say that he is not in a position to make my life as comfortable as I would like. I can handle that. But to make the continual promises with no follow through means that the submissive is only doing this for his pleasure and not for mine.

The value and beauty of submission in this relationship is that the submissive puts me first and derives his pleasure from that dynamic. If he chooses not to do that, then he is not truly a submissive but merely someone who wishes to have an hour or two for his pleasure, with no regard for mine.  In that case, is he truly a submissive? I do not think so.

Submissive’s continually come to me with ulterior motive’s and no desire to share what those motives are. I would much rather have one say, “I seek humiliation purely for my own pleasure” than to say, “I will do anything to please you and make your life better” and not do so.

I will admit there’s a fine line between the dynamic of a paying submissive and a paying submissive who wishes to indulge my pleasure.  But as I continue to develop and evolve as a dominatrix, I find that the only submissives I’m truly interested in are those who have a genuine interest in my pleasure first.

Missing Our Partner

I write extensively about our relationship and the details of our sexuality. 

This post is about missing her. 

We miss her. Immensely. We’ve connected. We’re happy.  We crave her company and the intellectual stimulation that comes with it. We find our passion grows deeper with each day. She is away for the next week and for the first time in our triad we are all scattered across the United States. It’s makes the anticipation for our next time together even more unbearable but simultaneously more exciting. We communicate as a triad through texts during the day but also have our individual communication with one another. It makes the passing of time between our long weekends bearable but less than enjoyable. How can two women have serious feelings for one man and yet not feel the jealousy that most people would feel? This is what makes this so erotic and stimulating. Part of it are the looks we receive at parties and dinner and brunch. But so much of this is about the continual transition from sexual partners to lovers to friends. We do count the days between our time with her and know she does the same. Sometimes our texts are raunchy and well beyond suggestive. Other times they’re deep and pensive and insightful. Regardless, we ache between our days with N. 

Latex

Latex

Too Long Since I’ve Written

I know it’s been way too long since I’ve put ideas and thoughts on my blog.  I’ll try to summarize everything that’s happened in the past several months in one post.

My top financial submissive continues to provide such wonderful weekly tributes but in addition to those, the amount of his tributes in between sessions is absolutely stunning.  His gifts, desire, work and motivation is absolutely the best among all my financial submissives.

I spent two fantastic weeks in Hawaii, the last part of April and it was so enjoyable and relaxing.  I’ve never felt so melancholy at the end of a trip as I did that one.  There was something so calming about living in Waikiki for two weeks.  I saw friends I hadn’t seen in years, spent time on the beaches of the North Shore and Kailu. The food was tremendous, the climate was fabulous and the people were kind and considerate.  Most days I spend 2-3 hours on the beach  surfing or paddle boarding and in the evenings I’d get dressed up and go to a wonderful restaurant in Waikiki. Or going to food trucks on the North Shore.

I’m headed to Florida in a week for two weeks of business  and pleasure.  The Fetish Factory 21 party is May 26-30 and I plan on living it up.  I’ll be in Orlando for almost a week and Tampa for another week.  Hopefully there’s at least one trip to the Woodshed in Orlando.

I’ve taken on some much more sadistic roles lately and enjoy them immensely.  A relatively new submissive, “D”, provides me a canvas by which I may indulge my sadistic fantasies and I’m finding them quite enjoyable.  I’m doing a 6 hour session with him on Tuesday and plan on turning him inside out. The depths of my sadism continue to grow and it’s a sexually arousing state.

I’ll be more diligent about updating my blog over the next few months.  There’s a lot going on and I plan on sharing every bit with you.

We met the submissive at the Waldorf in NYC last weekend.  He wanted to experience public humiliation in an upscale environment and articulated his need to not only be humiliated him but have others outside the scene impose their amusement on his discomfort.  And as always, the Bull was so ready for this.  We hadn’t done this type of scene in several weeks and each time we do one, we want more.

The bar in the Bull & Bear is large, circular and visible.  It’s also a gathering place for many people on a Friday night, making the ability to bring others into his humiliation so much simpler and easier.

Ana wore a pair of latex leggings and thigh high black leather Christian Louboutin boots and a lovely fox fur wrap with a pair of over the elbow leather gloves.  Erich, the bull, sat off to the side and watched as Ana positioned herself at the bar and the heads of a half dozen gentlemen turned in response.  Dismissively, she sat down, ordered a drink and waited for the cuckold to show.  Ana watched and caught his eye as he entered the bar area and intentionally dropped her gloves on the floor.  The man next to her immediately moved to pick them up and she said, “leave them there, my husband will get them”, and he immediately sat down, averted his gaze but surreptitiously watched from the corner of his eye.  The cuckold approached and Ana said, “my gloves are on the floor, shouldn’t you get them for me?”  He bent over, men watched and as she placed her boot on his head and he instinctively knew to stay in that position until she removed it.  Secretly inside his pants, his erection sprung to life and he knew he’d have a challenging time hiding his excitement.  Obvious to everyone was the fact that he was submissive, humiliated and not in control.  Ana caught Erich’s eye from across the room and slyly smiled, knowing that everyone able to observe was fascinated by this interaction.  Certainly it was something that they would be telling wives, girlfriends and coworkers for years to come.

He paused and waited, holding Ana’s gloves in one hand, the blood rushing to his head as he remained bent over but all the while thrilled at the public humiliation.  She took the boot off his head, slipped the toe of her boot under his chin and slowly lifted his head so he was looking directly in her eyes.

“Did I tell you to look at me?” and he immediately averted his eyes.  The bartender came over noticing her drink was almost finished and asked if she needed anything.  “A real man would be nice” she replied and it was obvious he was conflicted between laughing and commenting.  “Go ask that man sitting over there what he’d like to drink”, pointing in the direction of Erich, directing the cuckold to further humiliate himself in front of the entire bar.  By now, it was evident that not only those around her were aware but so was all the staff as they whispered and glanced at the interaction between Ana and the cuckold.  He handed her the gloves and responded, “Yes, mistress”.

Erich smirked as he came over and asked what he’d like to drink.  “Your wife is quite beautiful.  Tell her that I’d love to get to know her better”.  The cuckold mumbled in response to Erich’s drink order and walked back to the bar, telling the bartender that the man sitting in the corner would like a Coke.

Ana told the cuckold to put her gloves on her hand it became quite apparent that the women observing were amused and the men were becoming more aroused at the sight of her dominance.  He pulled the gloves over her elbows and the sight of his erection became an immense source of embarrassment.  He did delight in this sort of scene.

Erich received his drink and Ana got up from her chair by the bar and walked over to him.  “Hold my seat” she told the cuckold.

By now, most of the bar was aware of the interaction but had no idea that this was a fabricated scene.  They looked at the raven haired vixen as she walked over to Erich and he rose to greet her.  She offered her hand in a manner befitting an elegant and sophisticated lady and he kissed the back of her glove and she squeezed his fingers. They’d played this type of scenario frequently but it never ceased to get old and was an ever increasing turn on to them both.

He pulled out the chair and she sat down, flirting with him and raising the curiosity of all those observing this interaction.  The cuckold sat at the bar, thoroughly humiliated, turned on and immobilized by the eyes watching him.  After several minutes of discussion, Ana got up from her seat and Erich held her hand returning to the bar.  Now, nearly every person was aware that something was happening so unusual that they couldn’t look away.

As she walked up, the cuckold immediately surrendered his seat and she took it, with Erich leaning up against the bar and her.  She could feel his arousal and reached a gloved hand down between his legs and squeezed his erection.  The bartender, full of intrigue, came over to see if there was anything he could get them, but hardly hiding his interest in this dynamic.  Ana looked at him and asked, “what would you do if you had a partner unable to satisfy you? Would you find somebody that could?”  He laughed uncomfortably and responded that he wasn’t sure what he would do. “I’d find a real man and make my husband watch me” she said, watching the bartenders face turn red with embarrassment.  “In fact, I think this man here” gesturing to Erich, “will more than fit the bill”.

They made more conversation and Erich, loud enough for the staff and those sitting close by said, “Let’s go up to my room, I’d love to get to know you so much better” and Ana responded affirmatively.

“Come on, dear” she said to the cuckold with the eyes of all the men tracking her every move.  As they progressed past the patrons, she held Erich’s hand, turned to the cuckold and said, “Walk three steps behind me”.

They progressed to the elevator and up to their room and once inside she commanded the cuckold to undress.  Erich grabbed Ana around the waist, pulled her in close and kissed her passionately.  He grabbed a fistful of her thick mane and pulled her to her knees.  She knew his excitement wasn’t manufactured.  It was real and hot.  He wanted her and she craved him.  Her gloved fingers pulled at his zipper and his erection exploded from his suit and into her mouth, down her throat.  This is what she really craved and glancing at the cuckold, she saw he was stroking himself.

“I didn’t tell you to do that, did I?” she asked.

“No, my dear,” he mumbled and he took his hand off his erection.

She moved back to Erich’s cock, licked the shaft from the base to the tip, circled her tongue around the top, licked off the pre cum that oozed from it and voraciously swallowed it.  Her only dilemma was where she would accept his cum.  In her mouth or in her wet pussy.  Either way, she would be immensely pleased.

“Such a tight pussy your wife has,” Erich commented to the cuckold.  “Too bad you’re incapable of pleasing her.  But it only stands to reason that I can”.

As she swallowed his cock over and over, she took pause and said to the cuckold, “Get my strap on and harness out of my bag” and he opened her purse and pulled out a leather harness and a dildo 8 inches long.

“Did you bring any lubricant?” she asked, knowing full well he hadn’t.

“No, my dear, I didn’t.” he responded meekly.

“Here’s your choice.  Either take it dry or lubricate it with your own cum,” she said.  “I think it should be with your own cum.  Stroke yourself and when you’re ready to shoot your load, cum on my prick.”

He masturbated faster and faster, bringing himself to the point of release.  “May I cum, Mistress?”

“Yes, NOW!!!!”

And he exploded on her prick, a massive load of white cum.  “Lubricate it, bitch”. And he did.

She bent him over, pulling a latex glove over her leather glove and guiding the tip into his ass.

“Breathe,” she snarled and thrust it into him in one swift, aggressive move.  He gasped and as he opened his mouth, Erich took his erection and shoved it in.

Ana rode him for an hour and Erich would bring himself to the point of a massive explosion but intentionally holding off, knowing that they both could bring themselves to orgasm at the same time with a mere glance.  This was something they were adept at doing.

Erich looked at her and she knew he was ready.  She pounded him harder and more fiercely and he slowed his thrusts in the cuckold’s mouth and in an instant they both reached climax with his cum spilling down the cuckold’s throat into a final act of humiliation.

They both pulled out, kissed each other passionately over the cuckold and fell onto the bed together in a final act of desire and lust.

I have many submissives, some are experienced and know exactly what they love, others need guidance and direction.  My favorite submissive and most dependable is submissive “G”.  He has come such a long way in a matter of months and I think his relationship with his Domme is exactly what he needs.  Here is his latest entry into FetLife.

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I entered chastity for Mommy this week. Right now I have spent a full day locked up and am loving it! Its something so physical and constant that reminds me of Mommy, and how my life is controlled by her.

In our last session I was able to talk through a lot of issues I’ve been having recently. I’ve been transitioning into a new job, and although it’s a great fit and wonderful opportunity, but it was causing me a lot of anxiety. Mommy helped me work through my self-doubt, and told me things I needed to hear. I know Mommy cares about me, and embracing my life as a sub makes me so much happier. I want to focus only on Mommy, on earning more for her, becoming more productive and successful in every facet of life. Mommy has wonderful plans for me, things I am sure I would never accomplish without her guidance.

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-The Black Widow