As we navigate our way through this relationship, I’m grasping better the roles that each of us play in this dynamic. Our foreplay doesn’t always happen in the bedroom. It’s as much an intellectual pursuit as it is sexual. I’m also learning I’m the facilitator in many regards. I bring a clarity to the differences in this relationship and I manage to steer all of us in directions that we may not realize we need to go. It’s not one of manipulation but of seeing things from an objective viewpoint and helping all of us comprehend the complexity and beauty of a triad relationship. Maybe there’s something that pushes a button of someone else or a misunderstanding of intent or desire. In some ways, I’m the glue that holds the triad together, at other times, the “Swiss army knife”, finding that correct tool to make things work or to fix a minor problem before it becomes a large one. We all possess something in this though. For “N”, it’s an intellectual insight into a life that we have not been involved in many years. For “E”, it’s managing the expectations; desires, sexual, physical, intellectual and emotional. We all have a place in this and have learned that frequent communication, especially after an intense night of sexual contact or possibly a mild tiff, is the absolute key to making this work. Our communication may be a bit methodical, but it’s consistent and deep. Our contact is consistent. Either we’ll show up on a Friday and leave on a Monday or she’ll show Friday evening and leave Sunday afternoon. Regardless, each morning, we’ve built a somewhat consistent routine of breakfast and an “after action report”, talking about what we did the night before, what we loved, what turned us on, our plans for the day, the next evening or whatever may work it’s way into our relationship. We continue to find our discussion afterwards as intense as the sexual component the night before. And more often than not, that serves as the foreplay for the next afternoon and evening.
Sex is a major part of this triad. It’s not the only thing but it’s the component that binds us in so many ways. We share a man and in turn, he does his best to sexually pleasure us. Maybe individually, maybe together. it may seem hedonistic and in many regards, it certainly can be. But there’s an element of intellectual sexuality, where the mind plays a starring role and we find ourselves motivated by the curiosity, the passion, the security and the comfort as much as the orgasm.
We’re now settling into our roles but also realize that there’s an evolution of those roles and at times, one person may intentionally stray into another person’s role because they have unique experiences or insight that helps the other two. Regardless, the joy of this triad continues to manifest itself each day, even when we’re apart. We have a longing for her and she for us and we realize that the time in between being together does much to heighten the passion and desire. It also makes us far more appreciative of the time spent outside the bedroom, in a museum or perusing galleries or going to a party or fine restaurant. This is all part of the relationship and triad, it’s what makes it exciting and so worthwhile.