“Why do you like the feeling of ownership” I asked my girlfriend.  Her response was spot on.

“That’s a great question.  For me, it’s just relief.  I feel like I’m forced into positions of responsibility all day long, so it’s this great relief to have someone else in control.  Someone whom I trust to be as intelligent as myself (which isn’t often).  My exporation into this is feminist in itself though, the fact I did this independently.  Also, I think you can philosophically argue that the most powerful person in any dynamic is the sub.  The sub consents and can stop things at any time.  The dominant is beholden to the sub in that sense.”

As much as the 50 Shades of Grey series cheapens the dominant/submissive dynamic, one of the central themes of the series was that the submissive actually holds the control and power in this dynamic.

“I think that’s what is interesting about the sub/Dom relationship”, she said.  “The complexity, nuances and yes, 50 Shades.  It’s a mirror of every other relationship, except it’s so literal so it’s easier to analyze.”

I think this summarizes so succinctly and beautifully the relationship between dominant and submissive.  It distills the thoughts of so many who have more than just a passing curiosity in this lifestyle.

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