I am looking forward to our next weekend with “N”.  While it will be a shorter weekend than we had in the past, I nevertheless find myself day dreaming about her arrival.  I know that Friday night will be nothing but hours of sex.   I know we’ll be bad girls.  I’ll do things that I don’t do on a daily basis but that I love doing when I’m with her.  I know we’ll strive to please one man and I know that he will satisfy us sexually for hours.  That’s the way this relationship works.

I look forward to spending a Saturday wandering through art galleries, spending a late morning at brunch in a hip, cool spot in DC.  I want to be seen with her and to dress in a way that complements her and makes him happy.  I will experience the coolness of fall, holding her hand in public, having wonderful conversation and making people wonder what our dynamic is.

I crave going down on her and her on me.  I want to have him pleasure me while he pleasures her.  Yes, this is possible.  He lays on his back while one of us mounts him while the other straddles his face.  It’s like conducting a band and he’s magnificent at it.  We will face each other and kiss as he pleases us.  It does not make him subservient or submissive to us but a true master who loves the interaction and pleasure that we derive.  We will collapse on him after orgasm and will lay on his chest, me on his right, “N” on his left.  I want to sleep with them and feel his touch in the middle of the night and know that she hungers for his arousal while he takes me.  I want to hear him softly take her, hear the whispers between them as he mounts her and the feel the gentle rhythm of the bed moving as he is intentional and methodical about his entry into her.

We will wake up and long for each other, be melancholy about the impending end of the weekend but excited that the next time with her is only a few days away.  We have the following weekend already planned, a concert at Radio City, and afternoon of leisurely sex, Netflix watching, wandering the lower east side and then a Saturday night of anything that we want.  The wonderful thing about “N” is that she always has something to do that allows us to display our relationship.

I ramble from one thought to another because it’s indicative of our relationship.  We’re spontaneous, easy going, passionate, inquisitive and curious.  We want the relationship to work on it’s own terms.  Do we want to have sex, go shopping, have dinner, watch a documentary? We traverse many things during our times together, metaphorically, sexually and socially.  We do not want our time to end but we know it does, only to restart the clock towards our next time together.  I love the romantic feeling of a late afternoon drive to NYC to see her, the sun starting to set, the shadows getting longer into evening, and knowing that her laughter and smile will greet us when we arrive.  I smile at the thought of her on the train to DC, picking her up and embracing, ordering a pizza, sitting in the living room, watching a home renovation show and telling each other about our week.  This is how the relationship is.  There’s no defining it because it moves, morphs, evolves in the fashion we allow.

I want her.  I want him.  I want them both, together.  I want to know that while he’s in me she lays next to us, watching and wanting, bad, what I am experiencing.  I’m not sure if I’m the one directing this for our happiness or merely pushing the throttle forward on a train that follows a track to a destination.  Maybe we’re all just passengers on this or we all take turns driving this to achieve our congruent goals and desires.  I’m not sure we will ever know or discover but this is a continual discovery process.

Only days away from being with her…

To be continued…

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