The Difference Between a Fetish and a Sexual Deviance Disorder
Posted Tue, Mar 26, 2013 in Behavioral Addictions → Comments
The world of sex is a rather murky one for many. The general puritanical attitudes surrounding sex makes it hard to identify when someone has an issue, as there is a general reluctance to openly discuss it. Nevertheless, there are some things that are considered outlandish by some people that are accepted by others. Fetishes are a prime example.
First, though, what is a sexual fetish? Well, it’s simply sexual arousal from a situation or an act that is not commonly associated with sex. Arousal from a specific part of the body is called partialism and is a subsection of fetishes.
That means that a liking for large breasts or big penises is not actually a fetish, as these are associated with fertility and virility and intimately associated with the act of sex. Technically, the enjoyment of specific sexual positions is also not fetishes.
Men tend to be more prone to fetishes than women in Western society, although that could be because men are more likely to admit having a fetish. It helps that celebrities are sometimes willing to be honest about their kinks, with Brooke Burke saying:
“I like feet. I definitely have a fetish. I love to see a man’s bare foot, but it’s got to be taken care of. If they’re not well manicured, you’ve got to wonder what the rest of him is like. I don’t want to get in bed with somebody and feel his gnarly feet.”
One of the most common fetishes is a foot fetish. The simple reason for that is that the part of the brain that controls sexual drive is next door to the part that control sensory input from the feet. These parts can overlap and this leads to a sexual drive involving feet. Obviously as feet are not generally associated with reproduction, this would be a fetish. A foot job, when a person rubs another person’s genitals using the feet, is one way that this fetish is enjoyed. Just make sure that their feet don’t slip. Other variations might include sucking on toes and so on.
Latex, leather, and role-play might also be fetishes. BDSM is considered a fetish as well, and it exists primarily because the areas of the brain that control reward also control pain.
A fantasy is not necessarily a fetish, however. A rape fantasy is surprisingly common in both men and women, but it doesn’t mean that either sex actually wants it to happen. After all, if it’s consensual, it’s not rape, and if it’s rape, it’s not consensual. Likewise a threesome is a very common fantasy, but having multiple partners at once is related to normal sex drives and associated with an alpha male or female attitude.
A well-controlled and balanced fetish is not a detriment. You might enjoy a spanking, but it’s not at the center of your sex life. Part of the trick is to embrace it and find a partner who enjoys your particular predilection for panties or other clothing, and this has never been easier.
The main issue stems from when you lose control of your fetish. For some, the fetish becomes the only way to enjoy sex. They cannot climax unless they are tied up or are beaten or are wearing a particular item of clothing. This is when a fetish becomes sexual deviancy.
Extreme cases of sexual deviancy might involve strangling, rape, and murder. One particular case in Belgium was where a killer asked women to dress up in a white shirt. He then had sex with them and strangled them as he reached climax. This, he said, was the only way he could orgasm.
Basically, sexual deviancy is an addiction to a very narrow range of sexual acts. Like all addictions, it can be treated, but until it is, it affects the lives of everyone around the addict. Consequently, it makes life hard for the addict’s family.
Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier than ever before to find those who share a particular fetish. However, this can lead to a narrowing of sexual preferences and therefore deviancy. It can lead to the breakup of families and dissolution of marriages. Certain fetishes can result in injury or arrest, particularly those that involve nudity in public or extreme bondage.
Naturally, everyone has a right to enjoy life and explore the boundaries of their sexual activities, and a liking for feet is pretty harmless. If it starts taking over your life, that’s when you need to seek help or behavioral addiction treatment.