What Are They Thinking?

Occasionally, I will get responses from my website or ads that I post from men claiming to be submissive. They range from cross-dressers to standard fetishists to those who have no idea what BDSM is all about.

What I’m fascinated about is their reasoning and logic in approaching me. There are some who are remarkably articulate in expressing what they want, maybe because they’re very experienced or because they’ve studied much and know what they like. And then there are the stream of consciousness applicants. These are the ones that come up with such wonderful lines such as, “yo, DDF and 6.5 inches uncut. Sup?”

So I ask myself, what am I to do with this? First, why is your length and girth of any concern to me? Second while I appreciate the first D in DDF, the second one doesn’t affect me. You could have malaria for all I care. But for some reason these gentlemen believe that domination and submission are akin to an escort service.

Below are some of the best responses I received from a recent ad. I’d love to hear people’s comments on these.

—————
I love being dominated, and would do anything you asked. I am 5’8″ 150 pounds. 21 years old. 6.5″ cock. straight but bi-curious…into feet, into feeling humiliated..into whatever you say mistress.
————-
Anything? You’ll really do anything that I ask? That phrase amuses me more than any because we all know that you’re not going to do “anything” that I ask. Okay. Give me access to your bank account. Castrate yourself on video and put it on YouTube.

Anything?!
—————
hey 23 cute black guy here
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Why do I care what race you are? Isn’t this the 21st century? I’m always amused by those who believe it necessary to tell me that they are white, black, Hispanic, or Indian. It is simply irrelevant to me and I’m curious as to why people believe I need to know this.
—————
I`ll be your sex slave
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Really? You’ll be my sex slave. That’s quite interesting and more than just a bit amusing. I guess that means I should invite you into my home, rollover on my back, and let you have your way with me. Again, more than just a tad bit amusing.
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Hi there. I’m James from Arlington. Happy Thanksgiving. Saw your ad on XXXX and just wanted to say hi and see if you’re still interested. White, 5’7, 155 and cut! Hope you’re holiday is going well. Talk soon!
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Once again, the question of your circumcision status is of no concern to me. Cut? Does this mean you’re Jewish? Or your parents subscribed to the somewhat barbaric notion that taking a knife to a young boys penis who is several days old was a good idea? Again, I’m very curious as to why that information matters to me. Also, learn the difference between “you’re” and “your”.
—————
Let’s meet
Call or text me
XXX-X88-X104
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Now these are the ones that really interest me. You give me your phone number, and expect me to call you. If I were truly a vindictive or cruel person I would start posting these phone numbers around bathroom walls in truckstops up-and-down interstate 95.

Last, let’s talk about that wonderful term, heteroflexible. Look. I have no issue if you’re gay, straight or bisexual. But what does heteroflexible mean? At this point, pick one. And I would say that if you want to list yourself as heteroflexible, you should be more accurate and consider yourself bisexual.

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