Communicating With Your Domme…

I recently had an interesting experience that was so far out of the normal realm I felt compelled to write about it.

A submissive approached me about a cuckolding experience where he, the role playing “husband” would see me with another man (my real husband) and he would experience the public humiliation of rejection in public.  He was very explicit about what he wanted to see and engage and we set up the entire scenario to include the specific restaurant, time to meet, interaction during dinner, interaction at the bar and the specific play and interaction back in our hotel room.  I might add that this scenario was to happen in New York City during a leisure trip the weekend before Halloween.

Several days prior, I began communication and as requested, he made the required arrangements.  The day prior to arriving in NYC, there was further communication and amplification from him on what he wished to engage and I was more than happy to accommodate although there was one request that couldn’t be fulfilled.  I might add that along the way, he continually stressed the fact that ” (I’m) not gay…” which is fine with me, yet I have no aversion to homosexuality.  In fact, I truly enjoy seeing attractive men interact.  Regardless, his scenarios became more and more involved to the point I had to slow his fantasy and tell him there was only so much one dominatrix could accomplish in an evening.

We ended up at the Waldorf-Astoria in the Bull and Bear, a fantastic restaurant known city wide and truly worth every minute and dollar we spent there (the submissive generously paid for the meal and our drinks). We engaged in the flirtation and interaction he so wanted, texting him instructions along the way and eventually making it  back to our hotel room.  I spanked and paddled him, did all the things he asked and then had my “bull” take me in front of him while he was “forced” to watch. By the time we were done, it was nearly 1:30 in the morning.  And there was one small detail that was left out.

The submissive lived nowhere close to NYC.  So the original 7:30 meeting happened closer to 10pm, which is fine but I do have a life and was there to enjoy some leisure time with my husband. Having started late, i felt our interaction was aggressive and playful and energetic.  The submissive, however, seemed someone down afterwards so I decided that we would let him sleep over in the suite and in the morning, give him a bit more.

Upon waking up Sunday morning, I summoned him into our room where my “bull” proceeded to take me again, aggressively and the submissive was fully satisfied watching.

During my aftercare with him, I was exposed to an even greater surprise.  As is customary, I like to talk wtih the submissive, find out what he or she enjoyed, what they may like in a future experience and what they may think now that the experience was over.  I might also add that during this whole time, I felt as though my submissive was Cecil B. DeMille, directing every aspect of the scene and being overly specific about all that he wished to see.

Imagine my surprise when he said, “all i really wanted to see was you and your “lover” have sex”.

And I was speechless.

We could have dispensed with so much of the fanfare and scene setting, not to mention saved him several hundred dollars on the dinner and drinks (yes, the Bull & Bear is a VERY expensive restaurant). I was left somewhat speechless as to why he would set  such an elaborate scene and then reveal, afterwards, that all he wanted was one single aspect which we would have gladly done had we known.

My mistake was not asking him up front was this really what he wanted although it’s a reasonable assumption that what you, the submissive states, is what you want.  I will continue to elicit the true desires of submissives but remember, the responsibility lies on you, the submissive, to articulate properly, what it is that you want.


One thought on “Communicating With Your Domme…

  1. Very true Ma’am. As a submissive and as a newcomer to all this, i have yet to play or interact with a Domme on any level but i would feel that communicating from both partiws is the foundation if any relationship.


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